Trees

The tops of the trees are violently tossed about by the wind, the golden sun radiates on their beauty. Two sparrows dance on the breeze like two star-crossed lovers tossed about by their torment. With sharp sapphire eyes and short golden locks, she beckons. Innocently she dances on warm pavement, free to feel the sweet air careen across her skin. With exuberant laughter she falls against the old alabaster building, basking in the stillness of the day. White clovers surrounding her, she watches the jets dance around each other in the sky, as they leave a trail.
Dark clouds start rolling in, a cool brush of wind sends chills up her spine. The air smells damp and feels enticing. Running barefoot up the cool concrete stairs, anticipation builds- Threatening to come out in screeches of pure excitement. With each step she frolics, feeling more and more like a child lost in the simplistic joy of it all. She dances up and down the piazza, protected from the falling rain. She wakes up to the beauty of a misty morning. Icy fog encamping her home. With a cup of warm cider, she stands in the door way of her small apartment and thinks, ‘how lucky am I?’

Gram's Hands & Greatest Gifts

Gram's Hands

Gram’s hands speak of warmth
So soft-my eyes, sorrow lade
When the love has left.



Greatest Gifts

Rolling hills are blanketed with lush green grass, the fields are like that of a quilt with patches of corn and soybeans sewn in with care. The full expanse of the blue skies kisses the tops of the trees. Dirt roads hold a promise of isolation from everything. Rich black dirt is soft among your fingers. Cattle and horses decorate the fields like checkers on a checker board. White puffy clouds are like cotton candy. At a young age, my grandmother taught me to look out the window and to see what I could see. Helping me notice God's creations is the best gift I've ever been given.

An empty Home

An empty home is like a body without a soul. Lifeless and empty. You walk from empty room to empty room hoping for a glimpse of life, but it’s not to be found. Light floods through to shine upon an empty vessel. Something that used to house life and light now is empty and hollow. The family goes through things like dirty rats going through garbage. Declaring what is theirs and fighting over meaningless objects. Like a church without Christ, it stands without love. The memories that you have of standing help her cook or dancing in the living room, are just that-memories. It strikes you like a cold knife, searing and painful. You look at it like a tragedy and wonder how it could happen to you. But alas child, we are all vessels living and breathing for a given precious time. While the pain you now feel is stationary-you will see the light of a new day.
Think about dancing, remember the steps dear child? Your heart floats on every note. Making sweet goodies with Gram, know the succulent taste? Remember the times when she enveloped you in her arms promising to never let go? Remember how proud of you she was? She put your photograph on her fridge. Beloved, you were there for her, taking care of her daily. Hanging on her every word-her every amount of energy. Think about the smile she got when you walked through the door.
Dear one, don’t you see? Her love is still around you. Like the touch of Christ, it isn’t something to be forgotten. As you look back on these faded photographs, don’t let your heart be troubled with the pain of knowing she’s gone. But know that she is now dancing on streets of gold, awaiting your smiling face.

Filling the Space

She sits there in the dimly lit coffee house, sipping on a chilled coffee that’s filled to the brim with creamy whipped topping. Soft cinnamon colored pin curls barely touching the collar of her brightly colored wool sweater. Melodic sounds of Louie Armstrong and Ella Fitzgereld fill the silence. From the outside she looks inviting. Someone you might want get to know. Cheeks rosy pink, a smile that goes on for miles and a kindness that is welcoming. But on the inside she wonders how she’s fooled so many people for so long. Because on the inside she is nothing but a hollow shell. She’s completely empty…and doesn’t know why. Slowly she’s become apathetic and lethargic towards life. She desires to be who she sees on the outside. A woman whose confident of herself and can smile with meaning.
As Louie croons on she allows her senses to be immersed in the atmosphere. She lets herself feel beautiful, to not have a care in the world. No deadlines, no day to day duties-just one ongoing night filled with magic and ecstasy. She closes her eyes and she’s whisked on to the floor and is as elegant as Grace Kelly. Following the steps of a seemingly nameless face, she just melts. Glides.
Walking the streets of New York, her form fitting pencil skirt teases her legs. Her baby doll stiletto’s hit and miss the puddles as the rain comes falling down. The street lights come on and light her path.
Finally she’s home, a snug one room apartment. She throws on a record and hops in the shower. She wails along with the music…no judgement, no leering glances-just music. She can be herself and just allow the music to flow. She lets go finally and is vulnerable. Something she’d never dare let anyone see. Smile has faded and tears have taken their place.

Hope

She nestles herself in amongst the leaves…trying disappear. She feels like everyone is watching all the time and for that she doesn’t get a moments rest. So for now she will disappear and try to find the beauty in this place. A place that has taken her so far from those she loves and knows. The leaves entrap her…a popping crimson color among the lifeless grass. Beneath the feet are dull colored stones, laying like shattered glass. The air is cool and most of the trees are bare. Others stand straight and tall like a guard-standing duty over a mighty fortress. The trees give way to the entrance of the gate, turquoise yet pale in color. The birds are everywhere, chattering the day away…its almost as if their conversation was of some great importance. They flutter and dance in among the branches adding a bit of livelihood to ones day. The skies are gray and dismal…but the sunsets are a slash of heavenly color spilling out across the expanse of the sky. The colors so rich and vivid…like sirens calling out to you…. luring you in.
You accept the invitation and seek to know more. Just inside the mighty walls of the crème colored fortress are pathways leading to a magnificent fountain. The marble tiles tell of a story yet unheard. Around the corner come beautiful archways detailed in great beauty. Indistinct chatter tempts to pull her away, but she sees that it is nothing but mere complaints, they fall on deaf ears. Instead she turns her attention to the beautiful bells coming from across the way. “Ding ding dong” they seem to play a melodic tune, a hymn of sorts. Of course her description is obviously a far cry from the beauty of the sounds. It reminds her of a study of literature she once immersed herself in… “The bells the bells the bells” seemed to beckon in her mind like a broken record doomed to skip for all eternity.
Finally she makes her way to her destination. She decided since her first day here that this was going to be one of her favorite places. It wasn’t anything familiar but it had a sense of peacefulness to it. Something she has been craving for a very long time. A corner room, warm musty air seemed to engulf her almost immediately. She cranks open a window and allows the pouring sunshine to seep through. The sunshine falls on wooden floors and a desk nestled behind stacks of books yearning to be found. But few times has this getaway been found and there she finds her inspiration.

Jaded

Your jaded and your tired. Exhausted and worn out. Wishing that it was just spelled out for you. Your sick of this whole scene. Each morning feels the same and to no avail does it change. You don't see a point in it all anymore. For once a upon a time you had reason in your life, something worth living for. You saw the the tears and hurt, and it reminded you of yourself. That gave you something to strive for-you were useful again. The tears were made into smiles and laughter, and that fueled your day. You sought after that with everything that you were...and then some. Growing up you didn't want to be the one put in charge, the person who only saw the tears. But now you long to be needed again. To be the example that was so loving to you. You want to be the arms that held you when you hurt so.
But here you are, stuck in this pit...your not sure how you got there to begin with. You've come to loathe everything about where you've come to be.
No one would even know, but that isn't the real you. For once you had such an aura, vibrancy for life. You saw your path and you took it. The soft breeze and the glow of it all held for you a certain trance...a fascination of the mind.
The simplest of adversity leaves you feeling colorless and searching for hope. Alas child, see the new day dawning. The rising sun that sears across the morning sky. You have something to live for.
You haven't lost your hope, just be patient. You will find your way.

Essence of Love

He was incorrigible. She had expressed to Him profusely how she didn't deserve His love and yet He was hopeless...He turned a deaf ear upon her complaints. She didn't feel worthy, as she had failed so many times. Yet each time He smothered her with the love of the world.
She would look across the vastness of the plain and feel incredibly lost and alone. With a soft hand He pulled her chin up only to catch the tears falling from her face. Embracing her with words of peace and love, He turned her attention to the night sky. The warm sun setting on a cool pond as soft pastels intermingle. One by one He points out glimmering stars that seem to be placed there just for her. They shine and stand out just as she hopes to.
A soft breeze dances on her skin and she realizes finally He isn't going anywhere.
Yet there were times when she still felt unworthy...times when she just didn't care anymore and in the darkest depths of not caring is when she felt most guilty.
Somehow He seemed to find her each and every time in the same muck and pull her up upon a Rock. He makes her whole and pure, and gives her strength for the day. He loves her and gives her peace and strength to face her biggest fears. And no matter how hopeless she always feels, He always has strength to hold her tight in His arms. He encourages and gives her hope. A new purpose each and every day.
He didn't rely on worldly definitions, passions of the flesh or even witty banter...He was himself. He far exceeded any pure, imaginable thought. He was perfect. He loved her beyond any comprehension she had of love. He clothed her in peace and tranquility and let her be herself. Yet through all this freedom He saw what she had to offer, the possibilities that lay before her-more so than anyone had ever seen.
Perhaps being incorrigible wasn't a bad quality of him, because in it He has shown her the very essence of love.
There is this sense of being mesmerized by your child when it's first laid in your arms, HE was her Father, her Creator, her Everything- and yet she was the one who was mesmerized.